Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Small penises have feelings too.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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