weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
