Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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