He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
