I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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