So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
soo... how was my night?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
