How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
