Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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