Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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