I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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