somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
