You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
