Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
