Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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