'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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