morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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