I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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