This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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