That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
