sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
