I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
