One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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