I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We left the knife in your bed.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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