I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
two words...techno handjob
they're like a gay fantastic four
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Randomize
