And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
