I cockslap morals
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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