he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
