someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
