Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
