I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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