ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
