Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize