I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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