wake up i wanna do it froggy style
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
