But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
