u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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