So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
