im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this boner is exhausting
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
