So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
