Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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