You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
my liver is dry heaving
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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