You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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