I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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