so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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