turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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