My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my shit smells like andre
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize