cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
