I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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