I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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