i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
