i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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