we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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