You work out of a Hotel?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
