where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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