ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
