God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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