She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
