Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
