dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
