hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize