Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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