All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
